The first time I met Bruce at a dance he had his back to me; faded denim jeans, white t-shirt stretched across strong shoulders, dark curly hair, and he was the centre of attention with his guitar and strong voice booming across the room. I stood in the shadows, dancing in the darkness and watched him energetically move around the room, singing loudly and drawing breath from deep within.
I wasn’t very impressed with him at first; he seemed like a show off under the bright lights and not at all the kind of intellectual guy I was attracted to. Later in the evening though, when the party had quietened down, and the music had slowed to my pace, he found me in the corner and asked for a dance. I can still remember the feel of his strong arms around me, my head on his shoulder, being swept around the dance floor with my dress waving in a dream, until his lips found mine and I fell for him as the sparks flew.
As I got to know him better, I could see the depths and intelligence that lay underneath the bravado. He could see what was wrong with the world and had a big influence on my world view, but he was also a romantic at heart and believed you had control over your own happy ending. We talked for hours, about politics, history, social issues, and love.
He liked to rock all the time and I would get swept along with him even though my nature was for more quiet evenings. He called me ‘little girl’ and ‘angel’ and made me feel pretty as we slow danced all night under the moonlight, finishing the night on the beach as I surrendered when he unzipped my jeans and set me on fire, closing my eyes and melting from the flames. Like everything he approached in life, his love-making was fierce and passionate as he took me to secret places and promised to love me forever. Later on we would lay in the dark, my head on his chest and legs wrapped around each other. I knew he wouldn’t be true, they were just desperate lies, but I didn’t mind at the time and believed it was true as long as his lips were on mine in an everlasting kiss. Holding on to those moments when the world seemed right.
Our love eventually faded though when he quit his job, searching for something else in the misty rain as he succumbed to the darkness inside. I felt so alone and cried myself to sleep at night for a long time as he withdrew, but my love for him has never died.