Flicking through a magazine, I came across a picture of a couple together on a lounge, drinking coffee, laughing. He had his arm around her, her legs were over his and her head was against his shoulder. Sometimes I wish I had someone to hold me like that. But such a simple picture doesn’t convey the whole complicated story of sharing your life with another person.
I just want to be loved the way I love others. Is that too much to ask? I am tired of dating the wrong guys but I also know what I want in my relationships.
I like to hold hands while walking around shops; cuddling on the lounge and stealing kisses as we watch a movie; a gentle stroke of fingers on his arm when we pass each other in the kitchen; being hugged from behind while I am in the bathroom; long conversations that flit from serious to funny to flirty; touching his leg under the table at a restaurant.
I don’t expect perfection. I know there is give and take, as long as we are both giving and it is not one person doing all the taking. I believe a relationship should be an equal partnership, each person bringing their own unique qualities. I give to him and he gives to me for our mutual benefit.
What he does is just as important as what he says. Saying ‘sorry’ is easy, letting me know he means it is harder. Sometimes I will be tired and grumpy and just want to be left alone. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Sometimes he will have a headache, but that is life and surely it doesn’t matter as long as we treat each other with respect. You sort these things out, without recriminations, despair or retreat. You understand and love each other anyway.
I don’t mind if he disagrees with me, as long as it doesn’t sound like criticism or my feelings will be hurt. If I write him a song or poem it is nice to hearing him say he likes it because that makes me feel good. It is nice to get random text messages through the day, they make me feel special. But sending multiple messages constantly before I even have a chance to respond is a bit much. Don’t overdo telling me I am attractive or sexy, because I probably won’t believe it. But telling me I am beautiful as he looks into my eyes just before a goodnight kiss is likely to be a winner.