I don’t usually write directly to my readers – I prefer my poems and stories to do that – but today is my birthday and I wanted to take the opportunity to say thankyou to everyone that has ever visited my blog. The encouragement I get is a big part of what keeps me going.
Now that I have turned 20 I have been thinking about my journey so far and so I want to share 20 things I have learnt about myself.
- I am a solitary person – I like to be on my own a lot but that doesn’t mean I like being alone.
- My family is really important to me and I try to stay in touch with my sisters all the time. They don’t always do the same and that hurts me, but I am learning to accept that part of it is my own neediness and the rest is their way of doing things. It still hurts though.
- I like teaching people – I work as a tutorial leader with a group of undergraduates and also part-time as a swimming coach. Sometimes I wonder if it is because of my need to be wanted and useful but I really do enjoy it when I see people learning from the things I teach. I’m not sure I would want to be a teacher on a full-time basis though.
- I am an emotional person and my day is often a rollercoaster. I can be happy and content one moment and the next a sad song can reduce me to tears. That’s when I do most of my writing.
- I like to work things out for myself – which I guess is more about being a solitary person – but I think I am a good leader. People seem to respond to my quiet ways of going about things and are always looking to me for advice.
- I have a thing for nice clothing and shoes. My studies in gender suggest that this is all a social construct to keep women and men in their places but I like to pick my outfit for the day based on how I feel and often when I know I look good it makes me feel good. As a feminist I’m still trying to work out how I should feel about that.
- I have a small number of really good friends that I would do anything for. Some have been friends since childhood, but I think I give more emotional support than I get.
- I love being creative. This doesn’t mean that I think I am talented but I do get a real buzz from creating things, whether it be writing, music, photography, drawing, cooking or sewing.
- I like to be neat but my room often ends up in complete chaos by the end of the week. Then I get stuck in a pick up all the clothes from the floor and put them away before my messy side takes over again. My desk looks the same.
- I like discussing things with my friends. Sometimes they think I am arguing but really I am just trying to understand all sides of the question. I also question things all the time and that drives some of my friends crazy.
- I was extremely shy and lacked confidence as a child and for most of my teenage years. I think I have gradually learnt to be more confident and I take a deep breath and throw myself in at the deep end before my shyness can take hold of me.
- I’m not very good at following directions. I’m always getting lost but luckily I have google maps on my phone.
- I read too many romances when I was younger and this coloured the way I thought about my relationships. I am single at the moment and right now I think I am happier and more free that way.
- I love the idea of having children one day – hmmm, maybe in another ten years or so.
- I go through periods where I don’t talk much and then there are days when you can’t shut me up and I feel guilty for dominating the conversation.
- Sometimes I am a nerdy girl and love all things science fiction like Doctor Who and Star Wars.
- Other times I am a sporty girl and try to keep fit by running, swimming and cycling.
- I like being in nature and love nothing better than walking in the rain (under my umbrella of course).
- I write on paper. I’m not sure what that says about me but I usually prefer to write in my journal first before typing it into my laptop later.
- I’m looking forward to the next 10 years of my life.