happiness is fleeting

happiness is fleeting
so are quiet reflective moments
when that thing inside me kicks
I no longer feel in control
of my body or my life
but I say nothing
just smile vacantly
I can’t locate the sensation
a dull ache somewhere
in the pit of my stomach
I stare at it
wishing I could see
what is inside my body
all I want is to be held
the way we used to dance
before the doubt, uncertainty