A knight’s secret

You can hear a live performance of this poem by Ain’t Life on Youtube by clicking here. The performance was part of a poetry night at Smith’s Alternative Bookshop.

Once I was a brave knight,
Deeply in love,
Wrapped in the arms
Of my princess,
Safe in my armour.
With her warm body
By my side
I was able to face any foe,
Drawing strength from her strength
Drawing strength from her love,
Fight battles,
Reaching the height,
Savouring victory,
Immortality, ecstasy
Within my graps.

The she began
To fade away.
Little by little,
Her arms grew cold,
Her body grew hard,
Her eyes grew dim,
No longer safe,
No longer strong,
Losing battles
Against the demons,
Staring into the abyss,
Until vanquished,
Retreating in shame,
Hiding my face,
Tired and weary.

I tried to fight on,
Using another’s sword,
But the brief battles
Left me hollow,
Feeling empty,
Feeling lost,
Feeling alone.
As my breath
Caught in my throat
I faced the end.

Then piece by piece
I rebuilt my armour,
Steel so thick
No arrow could pierce,
No sword could thrust,
No hand could touch,
No lips could kiss,
And once again
I could walk
On the battlefield,
Standing tall,
Appearing invincible,
Yielding to no one,
Keeping my secret
That the armour
Holds an empty soul.

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Perfect in his eyes

Nothing tastes sweeter
than nothing when the hurt is past,
when something is better than anything;
so now there is just my guitar
And an empty corridor,
where I sing my songs
to the rafters,
but instead of wishing
I was someone else
I have learned to be myself
And accept that I will never be
Perfect in his eyes.

I can’t do a love song

There were so many things I didn’t know;
at the age of eighteen I thought life
was meant to be like a movie,
a romantic comedy
that would throw the love of my life
into my path in some serendipitous moment,
that moment when our eyes meet
across a crowded room
and music begins to play;
like a hopeless romantic
he would take my hand
and lead me to the dance floor
as a slow song plays we kiss
and my life would never be the same again;
but now I’m never going to dance again,
my guilty feet may be clumsy
but it wasn’t me that looked the other way.

The emotional sky is burning alone

The emotional sky is burning alone
In the evening we said our farewell
Undisturbed on the mountain peak
I became enlightened as the sky
While the smoky distance hummed
Desire to know aroused
At my centre it burns
Until deluded violence wins
Willingly I took him as mine
To hold in my embrace
The sky trembled and it was done
Broken and untrue, time separated us
Leaving the sky in grief
Until it had never taken place
And the moon spoke to the weeping sky
Piercing the biting cold in clear tones
As if the sword piercing my slow heart

Present plural of be

Present plural of be,
Does affection bring pleaure?
Or do naked nerve endings remain?
Are is too definitive,
Could is where my uncertainty remains;
Do you feel what I give generously?
How I long to be a part of the wealth we had
In that fertile land,
But those ones, not yet explored
Drew you from my side
And you stopped to satisfy your thirst
Until I could no longer fly
From this place, downcast.

A drop of saline fluid

A drop of saline fluid – free from deception – lasts forever;
It won’t corrode your heart of copper alloy,
It won’t erode the monument erected in your memory;
You may go now, where each drop that falls dies.

Forever cold

Seen by them in dreams,
tears dim my eyes,
echoes breathe songs
of night creatures
taking wing, like angels;
peace who knows
purity fell to passion,
white arms left empty
forever cold.

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